It was the thing that I could always count on to get praised in school. On knowing he was a writer from an early age On how he "erased" himself in order to have a good relationship with his mother It was really important for me to see that. And that I'd been cracking jokes on a moment that I had been waiting for years, right? And so I felt really bad, but then she called me back and was like, "Hey, I forgot to say, I love you, and you seem happy and that's all that matters, you know?" And that meant the world to me. This was actually really significant to her. I am a practical joker, like, I love to laugh, but I felt like I had messed up. And that's how I ended up coming out to her. She was confused and she had a lot of follow-up questions. Like I'm not in the closet anymore." She didn't find it funny. And so I was talking to her about it and she was like, "What does that mean?" And I was like, "My clothes aren't in the closet anymore. I'd gotten a little memento from my speech team to celebrate the year or whatever, and everyone had a little motto, and my motto was like, "Not even his clothes are in the closet anymore," which I thought was very funny. On coming out to his mom by making a joke There is a deep sense of foreboding that I think often turns into shame with time, because it feels like you're risking punishment. But certainly, that is a lifelong condition that's going to require treatment and support. I was born in 1985 and I would say until, frankly, the last two or three years - with the introduction of PrEP/Truvada - for most gay men, a defining aspect of our sexual experiences has been an awareness of not just STIs (STDs that we all need to be aware of and thoughtful about), but, "Am I going to get HIV/AIDS?" Which is no longer a death sentence, as I understood it at the time. On equating sex with death because of AIDS I think it's possible to have sex with someone and not be intimate with them, and that's kind of what it looks like sometimes. I think that's something that, whether people are in the closet or not, they continue to struggle with, being vulnerable and true intimacy.
He was working through some things, and so he was ashamed of what he was feeling or not feeling. But I think really he admitted he couldn't go there. He was like, "Oh, absolutely not." And so I felt embarrassed and I think the only thing more painful than not getting what you want is almost getting it and then being shamed right at the last minute.
On his first sexual encounter with a man, hooking up in a library bathroom and trying to kiss and being refused Your purchase helps support NPR programming. Close overlay Buy Featured Book Title How We Fight for Our Lives Subtitle A Memoir Author Saeed Jones
0 kommentar(er)
